i (usually) write tragedies.

In deciding to follow along, and participate, in three tarot challenges simultaneously, I feel like Harold Crick at the opening of Stranger Than Fiction (one of my favorite movies):

Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death.

Only, instead of death, because how dramatic would that be, it’s resistance.

I woke up this morning and my body physically did not want to sit down with the cards, and my inner narrator said Really? I’m going to do THREE different throws? Again?

This can be the downside of being an all-in with mental health struggles/issues; the momentum can be there in the beginning, but can drop off once things take off. And if I cannot do it all, as intended, perfectly without any deviations, I don’t want to do it at all.

So, normally, when met with that resistance—at least with things my brain deems frivolous, like self-care—I just stop.

I stop.

I set whatever it is aside, and move on.

And this is why the words elude me. And this is why the cards and I cannot hold a conversation that doesn’t feel forced or empty.

And this is why, when met with that resistance this morning, I thought it couldn’t hurt to shift things. To find an agreeable ease. A compromise.

How about, instead of three throws, I just pick one and go from there.

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Instead of walking away from something I need, walking away from something that I know is a way to stay in my intuition and exercise it (it needs this, for those who might not know, much like a muscle can atrophy when not used), I allowed the practice to not need to be perfect.

When met with that resistance this morning, I asked my inner narrator to shift from a tragedy to something more hopeful, just as Karen did for Harold.

Not my usual story, but I think I like it more.



so, here’s to new beginnings.

I think I’m coming to the end of a cycle.

Have we chatted about that?

For years, my Bipolar II felt unnoticed by me. I think because I have lived with it since I was 15, I just got used to always feeling off with brief times of not, you know? But, as I have gotten older and have tried to be more self-aware, I can see the markers now.

It’s like walking into the ocean knowing there is a huge drop off, but also not knowing exactly where the drop off starts.

I know I will slip off, even when I am slipping.

I cannot stop it, but I know.

All that to say I am resurfacing. It’s ugly and messy and sometimes I feel like I am flailing, but I’m getting there.

I can breathe again.

The words came back a few weeks ago, followed by the cards, and with the arrival of August (a blessed and happy First Harvest or Lammas to you and yours!), I thought I would attempt some tarot challenges being hosted on Instagram.

You know, as a way to help me wade back to shore.

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It’s a lot, I know, but I’m an all-in type of person.

I used my Nomad Tarot deck for @bujowitchcraft’s Tarot for Growth challenge, finding that the II of Swords—or making the decision to stop avoiding making decisions—may help me grow my patience.

For @wildsoulhealing’s Tarot for What is challenge and @owlandbonestarot’s August Tarot Challenge, I used my Lovely Omens deck. My card for the month of August is the inverted V of Cups, suggesting I am ready to move forward from past hurts and difficulties, while my month’s forecast indicates I may accomplish this through the inverted Queen of Cups, an archetype who speaks to self-care and trusting one’s knowing.

Lastly, and just for fun, I tried @mnomquah’s “Why am I so fucking awesome” spread. According to my True Black Tarot deck, my strength can be found in the inverted Magician’s never-ending potential and will to keep trying, while my ability to walk with my darkness and use it to thrive, as seen in the IX of Swords, is a great asset. And, not to be outdone, my talent lies in my gift of seeing what is hidden, in my inner clarity and intuition, as suggested by the inverted Ace of Swords.

So. Not a whole lot of surprises, really. Which is how my readings—for myself and others—tend to go; I am just connecting with what is already true, you know? But, when I’m in a cycle, what I know to be true can feel like a weighted vest, one even the water cannot help me carry.

Right now, though, what I know to be true feels like a life raft.

A Wild 154 Days: 008

Day 008: III of Air/Swords, inverted. 

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A reminder that it’s okay to feel the pain and move on when ready. Reclaiming your heart or your thoughts or your life in no way negates all you experienced, and doesn’t have to be a betrayal to the person you were while going through it. 

Hold on to the lessons (if there were any; sometimes shit happens and there is no rhyme or reason or lesson to be learned), forgive yourself your mistakes, and don’t be afraid to accept the good that comes your way.

A Wild 154 Days: 007

Day 007: VII of Water/Cups. 

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Though this card speaks to fantasy and illusion, wishes and wishful thinking, does it show up for anyone else when you’re TWD—Throwing While Distracted?

Every time I shuffle and throw while distracted, I pull the VII of Cups.

Every. Single. Time.

You’d think I’d have learned by now to not watch YouTube videos and think about my day’s schedule while also trying to throw. 

A Wild 154 Days: 003

Day 003: XVI The Tower. 

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Am I the only who sees The Tower in a throw and thinks “Oooh, fuck” in that slow-mo way that Ralphie says it in THE CHRISTMAS STORY?

So. The Tower. I know exactly the devastation and upheaval this refers to and was actually thinking about it when I was shuffling. See, my girl, my first baby, leaves for college soon. And she took her practice driving test today. And, oddly enough, the thought of her driving alone drove me to tears today. Her going to college? I’ve been okay about. Her driving alone? FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT.

And it’s like all these shifts all at once and holy, holy how am I supposed to do all this?
 

A Wild 154 Days: 001

I wake from his good morning kiss, then hear the distinct beep of the coffeemaker as he turns it on for me before leaving. My head is throbbing, but it only takes a moment to register that it is indeed Friday, and the Full Buck Moon hangs heavy against the inky sky. Full moon hangover already or a precursor to the show?

No matter; I have to see her. So, I slip out to the yard as quietly as I can, feet leading me toward the light spilling across the side of our home.

There she is, pregnant with possibilities, Mars her companion. I marvel a moment, snap a quick photo, and then steal back inside.

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I pour a cup of coffee, make my way to my desk, grab my deck, and light a candle.

It's time.

This blood moon is a siren calling me back to the cards, and it is fortuitous that, from today, there are 154 days until my 38th birthday--just enough time to make it through two tarot decks if I pull one card a day and three cards to celebrate my birth.

#AWild154Days of tarot starts here, lovelies.

I may ask a different question each day, but today I started with the question I always seem to ask: What do I need to know today?

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And Death stared up at me.

Which is fitting, I suppose, as this full moon eclipse has been referred to as one of not just transition, but rebirth. Which is fitting, I suppose, as my creative world is shifting a bit with the upcoming release of my collection of poetry, The Wild In-Between. Which is fitting, I suppose, as it seems my Capricorn sun is always in a state of transition, of adjusting, of starting over and shedding.

Death is a welcomed harbinger of change.

Honestly, all I could think of when I saw it was "Oh! Thank goodness it isn't The Tower." lol

So.

If you'd like to join in on this tarot journey, please do and use the hashtag because I'd love to see your throws. There are no hard and fast rules; I will be pulling daily and sharing on social media, but you can participate as much or as little as you wish.

If you just want to follow along, follow the hashtag on Instagram, check my account @thewildinbetween, or visit here for updates.

Happy full moon, babies!

* Deck: Nomad Tarot

August's New Moon & A Tarot Sale

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It's the new moon, lovelies! Now is a wonderful time to start new ventures, plant the seeds of intentions, or let go of things that no longer serve you.  

Did you know some believe new moon magic can be worked, and worked well, from the start of the new moon to up to three days after? Well, let's take advantage of this magic with a tarot sale here at The Wild In-Between!

From today (August 3rd) until midnight of August 6th, the three most popular tarot readings here are on sale, and if you are interested in the new moon spread I created (as seen in the photo above), purchase the Four Card Tarot Reading listing. That spread is a doozy, let me tell ya!

So, yeah … tell me about the ways you use the new moon energy in your favor? Are you throwing cards? Casting runes? Planting actual seeds (I see you, my herbal lovelies)? I'd love to know.  

I can't wait to throw for you, and hope all the intentions you're setting this new moon come to fruition!

xo

The Linestrider Tarot Deck: A Review

The newest deck in my life, The Linestrider Tarot, arrived just as I had decided I really wanted to give tarot reading professionally, and thus this site, a go.

Lucky me, as the art in this deck is absolutely breathtaking, making our working relationship that much more enjoyable. Because, you know, who doesn't like to work with pretty things when possible?
 

Six of Cups | The Linestrider Tarot

I was able to purchase this deck from Amazon, not knowing that the cost of the deck includes a 288-page booklet written by the deck artist. The book includes the card illustrations and explanations (both for upright and inverted cards), as well as spreads to try, traditions around tarot, and number, birthday, and plant correspondences for each Major and Minor arcana card.

To be honest, the book is well thought out, well organized, and the correspondences were a boon I have never seen in any other tarot book I own. Which, admittedly, are only two, but still.

The cards themselves, as I said, are beautifully illustrated. The artist, Siolo Thompson, indicated she pulled some inspiration from the Rider-Waite deck regarding symbolism, and it is obvious that she took her time in planning how to illustrate each card so even the most novice of readers could grasp the meanings.



The deck is a wonderful size, especially for those of us who shuffle our decks the same way playing cards are shuffled, and the cardstock has a wonderful weight. My only issue with the deck is that the cards seem to not have a coating, so they are textured and do not slip against each other easily, which means I find myself handling them a bit more gently than my other decks. Additionally, due to the lack of coating, the edges of the cards fray or catch on things, so I would advise care when using this deck.

That said, I would still buy The Linestrider Tarot, even with the cardstock issue, because it is stunning (as shallow as that sounds) and, so far, it is has been a joy to work with.

So, if you are a lover of gorgeous watercolor art, animal and human imagery, or really just dig minimalist sorts of decks that are still pretty, I would definitely add the The Linestrider Tarot deck to your collection.