Five things: a summoning. Two.

1. Answering an old question with new answers.  Because growth takes time. 

2. Vigil candles. Is that what they’re called? I always called them Saints’ candles or Santeria candles.

They make me think of those little, old Catholic ladies, black scarves draped across their hair as they recite Hail Marys at the other end of the pew. The way the footrest dips a bit as they finish praying and get off their knees.

They make me think of my sister, and the way the wall of candles looked in their red glasses at Christ’s feet. The birthday wishes we sent toward heaven for her. 

3. I wonder if doctors from days of old were on to something with bloodletting. Maybe they took it too far (probably), and maybe they used the treatment in the wrong way (likely), but maybe they weren’t wrong.  

I bleed with each tattoo, and each piece has brought me more healing than any therapist, psychiatrist, or medication ever has.

4. New sheets. Microfiber. Luxurious and soft; the kind of soft you want to rub your body against over and over again.  

And only $18.99 at Target. 

Go figure.  

5. The clouds rolled in yesterday afternoon, heavy with grey.

Every time I wonder why we stay in California, born here or not, she reminds me. Of all the states, there really is nowhere else I’d rather call home.