I don't want to quit you … I have to.
Unless you're that amazing Hawai'ian blend we found at Costco. On O'ahu. Which is thousands of miles away from Japan. Which means you aren't even truly available for this relationship.
And I so cannot do "unavailable."
Oh, wait, where was I?
So, if you aren't that one magical blend, Coffee? I just can't stomach you without a bit of cream and sugar.
Okay, without a lot of cream and sugar.
You're like a dessert drink for me, if I'm being honest.
A smooth, sweet, tasty treat.
And, see, all those flavor enhancers really add up in calories--something I am trying to be mindful of right now.
The thing is, though, that I love you, Coffee.
I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to you.
Just being apart from you these last few hours has me all twisted. I'm jittery and irritable, my head is aching, and all I want to do is lie on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
Basically, you're a hot, aggressive ex I know is no good for me, but crave anyway.
* Don't worry, Mr. McHotterson, there are no actual cravings for exes going on with your girl. MUAH!
So, this is where I ask for a break, Coffee.
Not forever, though, because who are we kidding, right?
But, for now.
Give me just thirty days.
Give me a break from "us."
Like Ross and Rachel, except my only rebound will be an occasional cup of tea and that shouldn't have any sort of repercussions between us.
Because sweet tea doesn't compare to you.
I mean, I love tea as a pick me up, but when I really want something sweet, you know I come running for you.
And, as much as I hate to admit it, I probably always will.